**happiness**
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at times





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Saturday, October 04, 2008

FUCKKKKKKKK CHASE!!!!!!!

He can rot in hell.  Ugh, my instincts were right from the very beginning...he's so fucking full of himself it's disgusting.

He's just a fucking joke.


Saturday, August 30, 2008

And that's when I realized, he didn't stand a chance.

So here's to giving up.
Because it's the fastest road to healing,
even if it isn't exactly the smartest.

Don’t talk to me, don't look at me. And no we can't be friends. This little game you have has got to end. You can't flirt with me like it's nothing. Because you’re breaking my heart, my entire world is falling apart. Go your own way, & I’ll go mine. I’m going to get over you, just give me a little time.

I don't know if I’m getting over you, or just getting used to the pain.

In this farewell, there's no blood, there's no alibi.
I've drawn truth from a thousand lies.

It's hard to take positive steps when
you'ved burned the bridge you got to walk across.
++ Scrubs

this new season means i am starting over,
and that means forgetting everything about you.
this is goodbye.

Forgiving is saying I’ve dealt with the pain
you have caused me. I’m letting it go,
it will no longer be my problem to deal with
and it will not ruin or control my life anymore.

and you promised me ..
you would never hurt me

So here's a story about a girl and a boy. They met and eventually love entered the picture. Their relationship was a constant rollercoaster, but they still loved and cared for each other. And now..? Now he's a jerk who never really caught her. He's that guy that put love stones on the ground for her to follow, meanwhile putting invisible rope in between stones to make her trip in fall with absolutely no intention to catch her- only to go on with his life.


You're a lie

I'm sorry that I cared,
I'm sorry that I played the games you did,
They never got us anywhere.
I'm sorry if this hurts you,
I'm sorry I just lied,
The truth is, I don't care if you get hurt or not,
For all the tears you've made me cry

I should have known we'd never get anywhere,
Can't fall in love when you're falling apart,
Can't make amends if you're only making mistakes,
And empty words can't fix a broken heart

If the world froze over and everybody died,
And you and I were the only ones alive,
I'd say, "I'm sorry you made it, it's more then you deserve,
Don't try to make it better, you'll only make it worse

I'm sorry that you miss me,
I'm sorry I don't care,
I was just a crutch for your lonliness,
Your heart was never really there,
I'm sorry that I wasted so much of my time,
Time I could have spent with someone else would have meant,
Less of you and all your lies,
You'll only make it,
You'll only make it worse

If the world froze over,
And only I survived,
I'd sing these words at your funeral,
"It's good to be alive


Saturday, August 16, 2008

It's not enough to say I miss you.

Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

Meredith: [voiceover] Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you're training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands, hello? Talk about responsibility. Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really, really good, doesn't it? The scariest part about responsibility? When you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers.

Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture, and close. But sometimes you’re faced with a cut that won’t heal. A cut that rips its stitches wide open.

Dr. Meredith Grey: Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes to simply be human. Maybe, we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. & then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice. & then there are the sacrifices that you can't even figure out why you're making.
Grey's Anatomy *

You know, I can't remember the last time we kissed. Cause you never think the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever but you don't. -Grey's Anatomy

…. Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grow up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone, and if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending...most of the time. And sometimes, despite all your best intentions, fate wins anyway. –Grey’s Anatomy

Time waits for no man.  Time heals all wounds.  All any of us can want is more time.  Time to stand up.  Time to grow up.  Time to let go.  Time.

Meredith [voiceover]: What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again.

Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can’t have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. And as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don’t know what they want.

Izzie: I'm bambi. I'm bambi, George. If anyone in this situation is a sad little cartoon character, it's me. I'm all alone in the forest, all alone in the forest, George. And my mother's been shot by a hunter and where are you? Where the hell are you?

Meredith: It isn't just surgeons. I don't know anyone who isn't haunted by something or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet- our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest- finally, finally to rest.

Meredith: I don't want you to date other people. It may not be enough for you, but I'm trying here so I don't want you to date anybody but me. That's it. Except, I'm scared as hell to want you, but here I am wanting you anyway. And fear means I have something to lose, right? And I don't want to lose you.

The test of love isn't when we're together. It comes when we're not together & realizing that despite the distance, love is still there.

Don't repeat chapters... the ending of the story will never change

Did you ever just need to kiss someone so bad? It's not even that you want to kiss them for the pleasure of a kiss, but you just need to feel their lips on yours, so you can get that safe, warm & loving feeling. It's the one thing that keeps you alive in the crazy, insane & confusing world. When you kiss them, all that hazy confusion disappears & it all becomes perfectly clear. They’re the only one who stops the storm of life around you.

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BREAK YOUR HEART, MAKE YOU CRY, LET YOU DOWN, AND LIE... BUT JUST REMIND YOURSELF YOUR BETTER THEN THOSE BITCHES-PARIS HILTON

Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost. -Robert H. Schuller

Sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other, even though you have no idea where you're heading.

Maybe it's the only way that we can finally stand on our own. You know, to hurt each other so much that we have no choice but to let go…maybe otherwise we never would. -Dawson's Creek

It's not that easy being without you
I'm learning how to pick myself up again
But I can't be too mad at you.
You made me realize that I'm capable of loving someone
& my love is just waiting to be released
on someone who can handle it

“It’s easy to hate someone. It’s loving them that’s difficult, especially if it’s disappointed love.” -Bones

when things get bad,
we take comfort in the fact that
things can`t get any worse.
& when they do,
we must have faith that
things are so bad
they can only get better.*

it hurts to say goodbye to a person that you almost gave your life to, knowing that life won't be the same without him, but it's better to give up the feeling rather then to fight, knowing that you're the only one fighting

“..If someone wants to be part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it.”

"And even if your plane crashes tonight you'll find someway to disappoint me, by not burning in the wreckage or drowning at the bottom of the sea."

Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got shit from our parents, and even snuck around to see him for awhile. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love again. WE wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us.

Here's to the ones who believed what he said, and sat around all over again, waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours or a few days. Here's for the tears we cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, that he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated. Here's for the ones who did their make-up and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say he couldn't see us that day or night. The ones that never believed it when people told us that there could be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bare to look back on their lives and wonder "what if."

I loved you. And here's a news flash. You protected me from nothing. I spent a long time missing you, wondering what the hell I did wrong to make you do that to me. I thought everything was my fault. And even when I got over that, I still knew what I'd lost: you. You were the one who made me laugh when I had a crappy day. You were the one I vented to when I was mad, the one I shared all the good stuff with. You always knew when I was full of crap, and you always called me on it. You were smart, you were funny, you were good-looking. You were mine. And then, suddenly, you weren't. I knew every day exactly what I'd lost, and I missed you every day, and I believed in you ever day, and my heart broke every day. That's the big favor you did for me. Thanks so much. Here's the kicker. You weren't even protecting me. You were protecting yourself. If you'd given half a thought to me, you would have said goodbye.
-The Comeback Kiss

mr. right is coming. but his plane crashed in Africa and he's walking.

time. time changes everything.
that's what people say; it's not true.
doing things changes things. not doing
things leaves things exactly as they were.
-house


Saturday, April 26, 2008

4 more days.....



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